clarities | Tenth File. [ backdated to monsterfield! ]

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Tenth File. [ backdated to monsterfield! ]

[ After the pod people, the blob, growing unexpectedly, what was next that Mayfield had in store for them?

Monsters.

Monsters.

Well, this ought to be fun. ]

[ Action: Mayfield High. ]

[ Those of you who see her, she may be a little bit off from the person she's been lately. But, it must be because she's so busy, right? After all, she has the concert on top of her projects with her alchemy lessons on the side. Surely she must be okay, right? Well, don't expect her to be too conversational around you if you don't know her too well. ]

[ Action: On the Way Home ]

[ Oh, no! It looks like one of the monsters, specifically a crab has Diana tight in its' pincers! But, wait - was it stopped from its' raging stampede? Well, upon a closer look, Diana has one hand on her hip and her other hand is busy pointing accusingly at the robot. She is not in the mood for these kind of shenanigans! ]

You must have some form of intelligent life in you, so I'll ask you to politely put me back down on my feet. I've no use to you at all. To you, I probably taste bad and you'd get tired of me quickly.

So, put me down. Now.

[ The crab stares at Diana. It doesn't know what to do. Why was a fleshy human bag thing talking to it? SIMPLE CRAB is confused! SIMPLE CRAB hurt itself in its' confusion! What will TRAINER DIANA do?

TRAINER DIANA used PERSUASION! It's super effective! Soon, Simple Crab gently puts Diana down on her feet. ]

Good boy. Now, can you sit for me?

[ Simple Crab sat down like a good crab! It looks like it wants to be scratched! ]

Well... only because you've been a good boy. Don't get any ideas, yeah?

[ Diana approaches the crab and gives it a little scritch on the top of its' head. She seems to be smiling just a bit, too. At least there was something sort of familiar to her in Mayfield.

You may now be promptly weirded out at this. ]

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[It's like Barry's mechanical squid all over again. Or the giant fish mecha. Or the army of clockwork ducks...

Sparks have a thing for derpy mechanical animals okay.]

I see you've managed to collect a minion.

[SPEAK CAREFULLY, DIANA. He has known other ladies that have special gifts with animals with jointed legs and feelers...]

[ Simple Crab stares at Klaus. Who are you and why are you interrupting it from it scratches? It was enjoying those scratches, thank you very much. ]

I find it neat.

[ Simple Crab: I WAS CALLED NEAT. Day made. =D ]

I am not calling into question how neat it may or may not be. I was more referring to the fact that you seem to be the first, at least to my knowledge, to attempt to tame one and apparently succeed.

[Simple Crab gets an unimpressed sort of imperious look. He will not be giving you scratches, Simple Crab. Nope.]

All it'll take is persuasion instead of screaming and acting like an idiot to them.

[ But don't you want to give it scratches? You know you want to. ]

[No. No, he doesn't.]

You'll forgive me. I am used to monstrous animals which cannot be stopped merely by a show of good will. Generally that only results in being ripped to shreds a bit more quickly.

[He prods Simple Crab with one foot.]

I'm actually a tad disappointed. I expected a bit more out of Mayfield, especially after those bears.

[ Pleaaaaaase? ]

That's understandable. I'm used to working with robots, so even if they can't directly talk with you, you can at least try to understand them. It may give you your results or it may not.

[ Simple Crab stares. And stares some more before raising his pincer and touches Klaus. Are you another human flesh bag> ]

They probably have more in store for us.

[Dexter is watching with wide eyes at this apparent robocrabmonster whisperer. And is convinced he can do better. So he tries it with a nearby crab.]

CRAB! LISTEN TO MY ORDERS AND DO AS I SAY! ROLL OVER!

[It stares at him, scratching a claw against its head. And promptly picks him up, roaring meancingly.]

NO! BAD CRAB! BAD CRAB!

[ And Diana will stare at you as if you just said one of the most idiotic things she has heard yet. She crosses her arms over her chest and sighs, shaking her head. ]

Put the boy down. Now.

[ The crab stares at Diana, then at Dexter, then back at Diana. Oh, she's not happy. Okay, we will fix this by putting this small boy down on the ground. ]

Now - sit, boy.

[ And Simple Crab does just that. To reward it, Diana gives a small scratch too the top of its' head. ]

I am used to working with robots of better quality. Mayfield is clearly much more talented at flesh-and-blood constructs and should stick with them. If this is truly an experiment in psychological horror, as I believe it to be, this is ruining its data by thus-far being only a slew of minor inconveniences.

[DSJFIODSJF SIMPLE CRAB WHY ARE YOU. TOUCHING HIM WHAT. Impatiently, he bats the pincher away.]

It's simply bad experiment design.

[Dexter breathes a sigh of relief. Of course, that method didn't work, so no harm could be gotten in learning other people's methods!]

I thought these crabs would be moved by the power of suggestion... but I guess not...

As am I, but I'm complaining. Perhaps they decided to give us a break instead of going at the norm of things just so that our defenses could possibly be lowered.

[ SIMPLE CRAB POUTS AND PUTS THE PINCER DOWN. Y U NO LOVE IT. ]

It is, but hey - I'll take what I can get that's at least somewhat close to home.

[ That's the kind of thinking Diana likes! ]

You have to be patient with them.

Where exactly are you from, if badly-constructed crab monsters roaming the streets is 'close to home' for you?

[Is she from Europa? Does he finally have a citizen to boss around? But no, she would have recognized him, he's kind of hard to miss, and the Wulfenbach sigil at his neck is prominently displayed...

Huff.]

Honestly, I would almost prefer the grisly tyranny and the invincible bears. At least there was something concrete to fight for, with them. I'd almost feel bad attacking one of these piles of scrap.

[Sorry, Simple Crab. It's not you, it's him.]

I didn't mean it in that sense. What I was going for was that back on my world, we have an abundance of robots that people use to help them. But, to answer your question - I am from Epyaxa and my country is Neo-England.

[ Yeaaaah, no. She doesn't recognize you, sorry. :( ]

Well, I'm glad you have your priorities straightened.

[ Simple Crab stares at you with big sad eyes. ]

[Oh. ;A; ALL ALONE FOREVER STILL... Well, except for Tarvek. But he's an annoying little fop and doesn't count.]

Ah. The robots in my world are generally more used for military conquests and outlandish plots. I'm beginning to think my reality is the only one in which peoples of a scientific bent are almost always inherently bad.

[And hey, that doesn't reflect on him as a ruler, okay, this was going on before he was even born.]

[ SOMEDAY, KLAUS. SOMEDAY. ]

And no one has decided to throw a revolution yet because...?

[ Yeah, all the suspicion and questioning. IT'S TIME TO PLAY ~~FAMILY FEUD~~ 20 QUESTIONS! ]

Ha! You think they haven't? I've just managed to soundly trounce them every time they've tried. My clanks, you see, are made for functionality.

[He's not preening.

Really.

Yes he is.]

Oh. [ That is followed by a lineface of epic proportions. ]

Same as mine, but they don't have a programmer that's dictatorial.

[OH COME ON]

Would you rather have a dictator who builds roads, schools, and hospitals or a group of madmen that fight like wet cats and don't mind destroying the country and murdering the peasantry because they're having a spat over who has the bigger death ray?

[ ...

DAMMIT LOGIC. ]

... oh, so you're a benevolent dictator. Good to know. [ But, it doesn't make it better. Or, maybe it does. what are morals and how do I get them. ]

As benevolent as I can be when those in power under my rule do their best to be as aggravating as possible. I take it your country is run by men who are somewhat better behaved?

Well, yes. We have laws that either limit or restrict the amount of exhaust fumes, people live well over one-hundred, and everything is very clean. It's not just my world - it's the entire world.

I admit to being somewhat jealous. Though my country's problem has never been pollution or lifespan (not when resurrection is so prevalent, albeit risky when not performed by professionals), but rather a general lack of organization in the first place. Such world-wide organization isn't possible in a world where agreement in general isn't possible.

You must tell me about 'Neo-England'. The England I know was destroyed years prior to my birth and currently exists as scattered island mini countries ruled by Queen Albia out of England Deep, miles under the ocean.

[ Listening. Listening. Simple Crab listening, too. THIS IS FASCINATING. But, why are you talking so much and not paying attention to it. It's time to make a little whine. ]

Oh, now - shush, you. If you behave, I'll give you a treat later.

[ Simple Crab: TREAT? FROM MISTRESS? OH HAPPY DAYS. ]

I apologize, sir. But, you shouldn't try to bring the dead back to life. We all have to return to the earth one day. Although, as far as your problem of organization is concerned, I take it that people are either very dimwitted or just stubborn to change their ways. Have you tried to persuade them otherwise and just try it, see what the benefit is when those sorts of things work and decide on keeping them? Honestly, it shouldn't be hard to do if you have a hint of oratorical skills somewhere in there. And, for your position, I assume you have them, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem.

To answer your question - people were too greedy and didn't give back to the Earth, so the Earth decided to stop supporting them and slowly died out. Though, before that happened, humankind moved to Epyaxa and we've lived there ever since.

[He obviously doesn't like that 'you shouldn't try to bring the dead back to life' business, if the way he stiffens up and his mouth tightens is any indication.]

The problem is not that they are dimwitted or stubborn, the problem is that they are insane. Perhaps I should explain: generally, those in power in my world are gifted with the Spark, a specific type of madness that allows exceptional prowess in most scientific fields but also, obviously, results in insanity in those too weak to learn how to control themselves. This is the majority of the Spark population, unfortunately. Between them and the royals who are desperate to cling to what little power they still possess, it is nigh-impossible to get anything done unless one simply starts enforcing the laws without the preamble of asking for approval. Those in power no longer represent the voice of the people over whom they generally rule, and so it is my job to ignore them, interact with the peasantry on my own, and quash any resulting uprisings that are more a bid for glory from the jilted middle-ruling class than a sincere attempt to raise up the voice of the people. It is like running a kindergarten, frankly -- my job is not to work with them, but to keep them busy long enough to run the country.

And yes, that includes bringing the dead back to life, something the fifty noble families generally abhor among their own because the dead are excluded from matters of succession. Why, by their rules, I shouldn't be in power -- they would honestly rather have a country in chaos than a construct ruler.

And do you know what? That law, I make an exception for. I despite hypocrites even more than I despise those who use the guise of fighting for a people they don't truly care about to wage petty class warfare. Shoving their stupidity and double-standards in their faces enough times might just have the desired results that attempting to be polite and rational never has. Does the fact that I died at the age of fifteen make me a worse ruler? Are my parents truly to be faulted for trying to save at least one of their three sons, even if it meant butchering the two less likely to survive for spare parts? Can other parents be faulted for doing the same, especially in a war-torn country where marauding, masterless creations often wreak havoc on innocent villages, assuming the ruling class administrating said villages isn't already doing it?

[LOOK AT THIS CAN OF WORMS, DIANA. LOOK AT IT.

LOOK AT HOW OPEN IT IS.

FUCK MAN, IT IS SO OPEN, BITCHES DON'T KNOW.]

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fuuuu i meant to type country instead of world

Shoosh pap